


Wonderland Fucking Sucked, We Can All Agree

by Puregold



Category: The Adventure Zone (Podcast)
Genre: Ango is mentioned, Character Study, Gen, Julia is metioned, Lucretia is mentioned, Merle´s kids are mentioned
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-03-02
Updated: 2017-03-01
Packaged: 2018-09-27 17:10:35
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 1,011
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10035650
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Puregold/pseuds/Puregold
Summary: The bois struggle with themselves post-wonderland.





	1. Merle

**Author's Note:**

> first time I´ve ever done a character study and first time writing Merle sooooo cool

For all of our adventures, this one has got to be the worst. Yes, losing my damn arm took a toll on me, but Wonderland? There ain't nothin' "wondrous" about that place. I lost my night vision, to start. And honestly? I thought it'd be fine. I already lost an arm, what could possibly be worse!

But now I see how darkness truly feels as I huddle beside one of our first campfires, near the Goblins cave. I wonder how Klarg's doing... Fuck, I wonder how everyone´s doing. Clearly, some sort of dark storm is brewing, and Pan isn't answering me. _What did I do this time?_ I think as I look up at the stars. I've prayed to you every day, and yeah, it's been really hard to regain my faith after my fucking arm! Is that it? Did I not have enough faith in you, Pan? Can you hear me?

As if to answer my prayer, a single star appears to go out. Great. My words have fallen on deaf ears once again. What's going on? Is everyone gonna be okay? Magnus is a fucking mannequin, the world might be ending and my kids could be in danger, and Lucretia? I wince to think of the possibility of her being an evil woman.

There's a reason why I chose her to accompany me to the spa. She may be our boss, but she's so much more than that. She's a smart, strong older woman managing an entire secret moon base with little to no help. But not only that, she treats every one of us with such kindness. She's our friend despite how much she tries to claim her professionalism.

I take a deep breath and look up at the night sky with wide eyes (or eye, what with me losing body parts left and right) and pray my final prayer of the evening. Pan, if you're out there, please keep us safe. 


	2. Magnus

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Magnus thinks about some heavy shit.

I lay a scratchy, wooden arm across the armor on my chest. This is so... Weird. Now my body's all thin and scrawny, no hair, no muscles, no _veins_. I can't breathe. I'm not hungry. I feel dead, and I'm so... Confused.

Fuck, I don't even need to sleep, but of course I'm gonna pretend for the sake of my friends. It'd be creepy as shit to just see a silent mannequin sitting there as you sleep, knowing it's alive. God, this whole situation is crazy.

Am I just gonna be a mannequin forever now? Am I dead? I have no idea what's gonna happen to me. I smile a bit, or at least figuratively smile, as I think about the possibility of reuniting with my wife Julia in death. Of course, it's not like I want to die or anything, but I'm not exactly afraid of it. Especially now that I've seen what the Astral Plane is like, or what it was like before it got consumed with murder oil.

Speaking of which, the world is fucking ending, or close to it. And The Director... I knit my brows, again, figuratively, as I think of her leaving behind her companions in the hellish wonderland.

Fuck, I couldn't even press forsake when I was up there and knew we'd have an easier time. Could she really do that? Did she? I sigh, figuratively, as I look at my wooden... Knobs. They're not even hands. Pan is MIA, and Kravitz and the Astral Plane are in trouble. Merle's spells aren't working and I no longer have any of the benefits that living me would. Would we really be able to stop anything that may be about to go down?

I decide to stealthily take Stephen out of my bag and look at him in his tiny fish ball with a grin. He's so cute and happy, and he loves me, mannequin or not. He'll keep my demons at bay for the night.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> wow I just kinda really how jumpy this is as far as thoughts and emotions go?? WHatever! I have adhd and so does Magnus now I guess.


	3. Taako

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Taako is confused about why it all hurts so much.

Don't think about Kravitz, or Angus, or Lucretia, or all the people I left behind when I decided to go off the grid.

Don't think about Kravitz, with his deliciously dark eyes, braided hair, and hands cold as Death as he drowns in black murder oil of what used to be the Astral Plane. Reaching out to me... God, I wince at the memory.

Don't think about Angus. His cute little curls and cheesy grin, that adoring look in his eyes whenever he learned a new spell. Don't think about how he's probably worried sick right now, crying about how we're all dead.

And, fuck, don't think about Lucretia. That sweet old lady knitting her brow in worry as she tries to figure out what happened and what the fuck is going on, trying to take care of a crumbling organization.

Fuck, why is this so _hard_? I think as I reach a hand up to stroke my hair. I've left people before. A lot of times, actually. I've gone under so many aliases and fake backstories that I've forgotten my last name. But now I'm an adult, and I have a steady? job with people I've let myself care about.

I smile a bit and chuckle darkly. Why did I seriously think that this was gonna work out? Just collect a bunch of murder weapons, destroy them, get mad gold... Retire with the moon base family. Or maybe get Sizzle It Up back on the road, if I can stomach to cook again.

Why do I feel so guilty? Yeah, I abandoned them, but why do I care so much? I can't believe I let myself care again. I thought I was done with that shit after my parents, my aunt, Sazed... Fuck.

I take a deep breath as I stare up at the night sky. I´m an elf, so I don´t really need much sleep, but even if I did, I sure as FUCK wouldn't let myself snooze tonight. Too many dark thoughts and memories swimming up in the damaged dome.

I doubt anyone's getting a good night's sleep tonight.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> man I literally shit all of these lil character studies out the ass during a hyper focus. I guess I´m just kind of posting the general drafts here for now, in case I abandon it later. These may get polished up in the future if I return to it! OTher than that enjoy my thoughts about Wonderland and the boys after episode 57 :)

**Author's Note:**

> like comment subscribe next chapter has Magnus and the third is Taako


End file.
